Sunday, Dec. 1, 2013
Roll: 6,2. Result: Feelings, Description
Happy December! My birthday and Christmas are approaching. ! Anticipation shall be the feeling I describe.
Anticipation is the “can’t wait” feeling. It’s when there’s nothing between you and the object of your desire but time, and there isn’t anything else on your mind. It is a feeling of excitement and potentially anxiety about something that is going to happen in the future.
What best captures anticipation, for me, is the month of December, particularly in my earlier years, when Santa Claus would grace our house with his presents, and we would acquire things of untold value which we would never otherwise be able to obtain. We would also see our cousins a lot more, and everyone was always happy. That is why, for the month or more leading up to Christmas, it was all we could think about. What could be better than everything you want, and everyone around you being happy? It was the best and worst to look forward to, to anticipate, and it got to its worst on Christmas Eve. That night, I would spend the night trying to feel tired, and then I’d climb into bed with my eyes stuck open and adrenaline coursing through my body, trying to hard to lose consciousness so that I could wake up and have my dreams come true. THE night of anticipation. It’s still pretty bad, my Christmas Eves. Now I also get to look forward to a guaranteed day off of work.
Anticipation has the peculiar ability to slow down time. As you anticipate, you stare directly at the time before you, and upon being watched, it goes as slowly as it can. If you get distracted, time gets to fly again, but should you think about the object of your desire once more, time nearly stops, and all the time that flew by seems to have been nothing compared the amount you still need to wait. There’s no way to win.
Sometimes, if I’m anticipating long enough, I chance to think about how I will feel when I inevitably become accustomed to being at or beyond the time I’m anticipating. I think about how I will become jaded by the object of my desire, and then I figure that I oughtn’t spend my time counting seconds when I could be doing other more useful things. At these times, time speeds up, because I grow less excited. It’s a blessing, but it also somewhat ruins the moment of achievement I’ve been looking forward to. The trick is to preemptively feel jaded until a day or so before the event, and then get excited about it all over again. That way you get all the explosive enjoyment that you would otherwise get, but also you didn’t have to slog through months of horrid anticipation.
Anticipation is like frustration, but the obstacle in question is merely time. You want something, and it will be, but not now. Not just yet.